But I have too much to say about those, and I don’t feel like thinking too hard right now. And also, I wanted to talk about clothes, which are important to me, seeing as I am a woman.

This was primarily inspired by a livejournal post by one of my livejournal friends that I haven’t spoken to in four years. She posted this picture of some guys from some show (possibly SNL? I don’t know) wearing some very wintery clothes. I don’t know where she got that picture or if it is like internet ettiquete to post things like that, and I was going to do so anyway, but then I decided not to. It is just a picture of these four guys wearing sweaters. Very classy sweaters, though. And one of them is wearing his sweater over a sweatshirt, but it is still relatively form-fitting, so it must be a pretty thin sweatshirt. All horizontal stripes. And one of them is wearing one of those hats. You know, those hats.

Anyway, I need winter clothes. Considering the fact that I have lived in Massachusetts my entire life I have a surprisingly small winter wardrobe. I want to buy some sweaters with horizontal stripes. And I want to wear them over sweatshirts. And, dude, I need jackets. S has this one orange plaid jacket that is amazing. She has such odd style, clothes-wise. She generally wears boderline excessively tight pants. They are jeans that are not made of denim. In purple and black checkerboard, or stripes, or grey pants that she has put sharks at the feet of. I know that no one who has not seen those pants will understand what I mean by the sharks thing. That is really the defining aspect of her wardrobe. Her overly tight, but still really cool pants.

I want to wear everything with hoods. This started with that blue jacket that I bought at that consignment shop on Cape Cod with the cute name because I wanted to be a part of the culture that buys clothes second-hand. It is an alright jacket. It is a nice color. But aspects of it remind me of that one-piece janitor outfit that D wore in gym class last year. I don’t wear it zipped up, because it looks to boxy. And I decided that it looks better if I wear a sweatshirt under it with the hood out. I don’t know. But now I want to wear hoods with everything. That is probably also because a lot of my warm clothes tend to have hoods.

My sister is really into sweatshirts that are far too big for her now. My father bought a redsox zipper sweatshirt for himself, and my sister stole it from him. Then I bought a sweatshirt from strings, and she took that. Then my father bought a zipper Northeastern sweatshirt and she took that too. Now, the zipper sweatshirts I actually think look good on her, when she wears them unzipped with a fitted tank top under them, which is how she generally wears them. It is weird, though. I guess I will buy her a sweatshirt for her birthday.

Let’s think about aspects of other peoples’ wardrobes that I like and mimic them. Like S’s pants, but maybe a slightly different fit. Half of vegetarian club, which was actually more than six people today, were wearing converses. Well, you know, canvas sneakers similar to converses. I ought to get some of those, seeing as I wear these silver shoes every day and I think it is getting really overdone. That is just how I work. I only wear one pair of shoes. Well, that is probably because I only have like two pairs of close-toed shoes at the moment.

I admire those girls who wear boots and tights. I sometimes imagine getting some nice grey boots and wearing them with some bright tights and what else? Shorts? a skirt? neither of those seem appealing in this weather. I should probably just get some converses. And some snow boots. And some sweaters and a good jacket. And a new generic black tanktop. Like those spagetti-strap tops that they sell everywhere in a million different colors. Because the one that I wear under like half of my outfits has like three major holes in it right now.

But dude it’s like 12:30 am, what?

And also there was supposed to be a poll attached, but I don’t know how to get it to appear on my blog.

Whoa, here is something that bothers me about wordpress: When I hit enter it double spaces my paragraphs. What? Perhaps this would be different if I went to “HTML” in the corner instead of “Visual”. I don’t know, I should try it some time.

Speaking of trying things, here is what I’m going to try: I am going to refer to people from my personal life my the first initial of their first name. For now, at least. That is something that I have seen a lot of cool bloggers do. The problem with that is that there are a lot of people whose names begin with the same letter. I guess I will just overcome that. So, readers should be aware: the same letter does not always refer to the same person! For example, in that untitled post there were two completely separate people who I referred to as “S”! Crazy!

If I change my mind I will just go back and edit it and it won’t make a difference because there is no time stamp, which is another thing about wordpress that bothers me a little, but I will get over it. Actually, it might very well just be this layout, so who knows.

I have thought for a while that I am interested in math, but I am thinking now that maybe that was just because I wanted to be interested in math. I have realized taking this logic class that I really enjoy proofs. That is probably why I enjoyed geometry freshman year. That and the fact that my father is a math major and the fact that K likes math, and the fact that math is relatively easy for me probably convinced me that I like math, when I really have not enjoyed any of my math classes since freshman year.

As far as architecture, I am thinking that I am not going to do that. It was just one of those things that I thought would be cool, but that was based a lot on my supposed interest in math, somewhat on the fact that I did so well in physics relative to everyone else, even though I know that is based on the fact that my classmates were douchebags and not my own talent in the subject, and the fact that I like art. That is one aspect of architecture that still appeals to me. The art aspect. I don’t really think that there is actually as much art involved in architecture as I sometimes imagine, or at least not until you have the freedom career-wise to do that sort of thing, but I do think that a lot of architecture classes involve drawing and building models which I imagine as being fun. I enjoy creating things physically sometimes. However, that might get frustrating if I was not good at it immediately.

Linguistics is something that I because interested in after we watched “Do You Speak American?” junior year, and then again when the people at that “Meet the Majors Fair” told me that I had the type of logical skills that would be good for linguistics, and then again when I found out that my favorite person from my writing class is a Linguistics major, and then again when I read that people who major in linguistics can get involved in robotics. But, really, I don’t know.  Like S said, linguistics is kind of on the boring side, but I “have high tolerance for boring”. Maybe I should talk to my favorite person about it.

Anthropology is something that I have started considering very recently, and which seems like a relatively good idea at the moment, but that is probably because I have started considering it very recently. Another girl in my writing class, who is also in my “Connection and Decions/Into to College/Undeclared class said that she was considering majoring in anthropology, which I had never considered as an option, primarily because I am not sure I have ever heard of it. I went to “What’s in a Major Wednesday” about Sociology and Anthropology, and the panel described sociology and anthropology as good majors for people who like to think about things from different perspectives. They went into more detail, and it sounded like the type of thinking I like to do, but I am not sure. They also made it sound like a lot of the co-ops are not very closely related to sociology or anthropology, for example working in a law office. That is nice for people who want to become lawyers, but I am not interested in doing that, so I don’t know about sociology and anthropology.

I am really pretty sure that I am not going to major in economics, but I thought I would put it on the list anyway, because I am considering taking an introductory economics class next semester because I feel it might be good for knowing who to vote for.

I realize that probably no one reads this, especially since I may have set it to not appear on search engines and stuff, but if you are someone who is reading this, please feel free to give me some advice seeing as I have to choose courses for next semester a week from today.

The problem is that I have to write about juxtaposition. Give an example of a juxtaposition of two apparently unrelated stories and explain what that juxtaposition implies. Well, I don’t really care about juxtapositions. There is so much in this essay, which is what I will call it henceforth, that I care about, but juxtaposition is not it. So I will write about what I want to write about here and then just bullshit something at 2am to hand in.

So, Griffin is writing all this stuff about opression and repression and whatnot. She is writing about the holocaust mainly. I mean people involved in it. She writes a lot about Heinrich Himmler and his childhood, and she writes about how he was frail as a child and unable to fit society’s standard for masculinity and how this affected his life. How his father did not want him to express emotion in his journal. How he never did well enough in physical fitness tests to achieve whatever it was that he wanted to achieve. And she talks about all this societal stress to be masculine. But what I am wondering is whether that stress to be masculine can really be contained strictly to men. Her essay is written from such a male perspective, which is funny considering how she is a woman. I mean, there are some women in the story, including a lot about herself, but none of the women are really from the same culture that bred Heinrich Himmler, and I would like to hear more about that. I mean, I am approaching this from my perspective. I am a woman. Yet, I do not feel that all the societal pressures I have been exposed to were meant strictly for women. The example I am thinking of is the fact that I feel extremely uncomfortable crying in front of my parents. In front of most people, really. But especially my father. That is a pretty stereotypically masculine thing, isn’t it? That is what Heinrich Himmler is encouraged to be like. I could go on about my own experience with the inability to express emotion, and I tried to for a while, but it didn’t really work. So, I will talk about my theory instead. This theory does not apply to me because I am female and my only sibling is also female. This is more for men with sisters and women with brothers. If your parents teach your brother that it is inappropriate for him to show emotion, doesn’t that affect you? Your parents might tell you that, as a woman, it is appropriate for you to act emotionally, but when you see your brother disciplined for acting that way, doesn’t it discourage you from acting that way?

I guess this has something to do with misogyny, because apparently that was a big thing in that culture, but I don’t really feel like going into it right now. I’m too tired.

My mom asked if I was considering living at home next semester, which I don’t think I am because that would be pretty lame for my roommates. Just kidding they wouldn’t care. But yeah maybe next year I should just live at home. What is the point of living here? If I live at home then at least I have an excuse for having no friends.

Well, when you go to college you learn to live independantly. Well that is bullshit. More like you learn to live with people who like to stay up until 3am when you have class at 9. More like you learn to live a lifestyle that will never be replicated in real life. I mean you might potentially be forced to figure out how to do laundry on your own, which I guess some people don’t know how to do, except that the laundry machines here are stupid. There are six buttons on the washer and you choose one. You can’t adjust the heat, which is why all of my clothes are shrinking. Honestly, what aspect of living in a dorm is considered independent? The fact that I am forced to buy a meal plan of at least 10 meals per week from the school? The fact that I am not allowed to have anything in my dorm that could be used to cook anything? They fact that my bathroom is cleaned for me? Does learning to wash dishes in the bathroom prepare me for adult life? Is it essential for my development as a person to share a closet with two people?

Yeah, I would say the answer to all of those questions is no. And I do not enjoy living this way. So why do I live here? Well, because the environment in which I was living at home was not one in which I was motivated to work ever. I mean currently I don’t have to work ever anyway, but presumably in the future I will. But maybe I should just go live at home. A lives at home. S lives at home.

I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. I feel that by being unhappy here I am wasting my parents’ money.

I guess I will just see how I feel later. I mean if I go home then S is just going to go to Brandeis and I am going to be all alone.

Oh, woe is me, my life is so difficult. My parents are paying for me to go to a college that is too easy for me because I didn’t try in high school. I don’t have any friends because instead of going out and making friends I sit in my dorm room and write about how much it sucks that I don’t have any friends. Oh no my living conditions are so poor because I am guaranteed as much food as I want and I don’t have to clean my bathroom. So terrible.

On the other hand, I guess he has chosen Lawrence Summers? I mean really the only reason I have even heard of Lawrence Summers is because Dan Faber brought up how uncool he is in class the other day, so obviously I am a bit biased. And I think Dan Faber kind of misrepresented what he said? But I may have misinterpreted it. I mean, stuff about how cool pollluting third-world countries is and how men are genetically superior to women. Yeah, he didn’t exactly say either of those things, I don’t think, which makes me think that Dan Faber is a kind of biased guy, but he did say things similar enough to those things to make me worry about him. So I don’t know. Kind of sketchy.

But I mean, pound puppies. You can’t be a bad person and adopt a puppy from the pound. You just can’t.

Yeah, it is a pretty interesting book, I guess. I am not reading it in order, because the sections at the beginning that I have read are not as interesting to me. I do not really identify with them because they are primarily about rich people. I mean, my family is pretty rich. My parents are paying for me to go to college, and that is roughly $30 000/year (including room and board) even after a $12 000 scholarship. We own two houses. Yeah, I think we are pretty rich. But either we are not rich at the level of the people Quart is writing about, or we just have different values, because I have no interest in buying Coach bags. I mean it is kind of fun to read and feel superior because they are so materialistic, but I then I question whether or not they are actually more materialistic than I am or if they are just materialistic in a different way. I mean, I laugh at the notion of cosmetic surgery, but then I do my eyebrows, so I don’t know.

I was going to write about how the section titled “DIY Kids” has been the most interesting thus far, but then I lost interest.

So more later when I have actually read enough of the book to write anything worthwhile.